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In College, Do You Really Want To Know?
Everyday Adventures
By Mary Fran Bontempo, For The Bulletin
“Have you heard from Meg today?” my husband asked last Friday.
“Yes. She’s great. Had a good week at school. Her anatomy test was easier than she thought,” I said.
“That’s good. Is she staying at school this weekend or is she coming home?”
Uh-oh, I thought. This is where things get dicey. “As far as I know, she’s staying at school,” I answered vaguely.
“What’s she doing out there? Is the school having any activities or games this weekend?” he persisted.
“I know there’s a football game on Saturday afternoon.”
“What about tonight? Does she have any plans?”
Sigh. Here we go. “Tonight she and her roommates are going to a party with the baseball team,” I muttered, hoping he’d miss most of it.
“Oh. Wait. What?”
“I said that she’s going to a party with her roommates.”
“No, you said that she was going to a party with the baseball team. She just transferred to that school three weeks ago! How in the world does she know the baseball team?” he huffed.
“Her roommates know some of the boys on the team and the girls were invited to a party,” I said, helpless to halt the downhill slide of our conversation.
“So let me get this straight. Our nineteen year old daughter is going to a party at a university that’s an hour from our home and she’s going with a baseball team. Is that about it?” He asked.
“Ah, that about sums it up,” I said.
“Why didn’t you say she couldn’t go?”
“Dave, she’s in college. We’ve been through this before. Once they go off to school, we have very little control. As it is, I’m just glad the kids tell us what they’re up to. They could lie, you know. I always check in with them a few times during the night. I’ve given them all the appropriate safety instructions. They never go anywhere alone. The girls are all very protective of each other and they look out for one another. Oh, and both of our girls have mace. I bought it for them to carry with them,” I said.
“Well, gee, that’s reassuring. At least Laura is back home with us and I don’t have to worry so much about her. What’s she doing tonight?”
“Um…she’s going out with her friends,” I said.
“Is she going to someone’s house to watch a movie or something?” he asked.
Another sigh. “No, she’s going to a bar to meet up with some people,” I answered.
“What?! Are you kidding me? Who’s driving? How is she getting there and how is she getting home? What in the world is going on?” he sputtered.
“She’s driving to a friend’s house and they’re going from there. One of the kids is a designated driver and if Laura doesn’t feel comfortable driving home later she’s going to stay at her friend’s house,” I said. “Look, I know this throws you, but this is what happens when your kids get to the ages our kids are. This is what they do.”
“Well I don’t like it. They should stay at home and play board games or something!”
“Oh, like we did when we were that age?” I asked. Silence. “Look, here’s my suggestion. For as long as we’ve had children, I’ve kept you updated on a ‘need to know’ basis. How about we stick with that plan? Keep your questions generic and I’ll fill in with selected details, eliminating anything remotely provocative. Okay?”
“All right,” Dave sighed. “Wait, I almost forgot. What’s David doing tonight?”
“Do you really want to know?” I asked.
“Come to think of it, I don’t,” he said.
Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.
Mary Fran Bontempo is the author of Everyday Adventures or As My Husband Says, “Lies, Lies and More Lies”.
“Yes. She’s great. Had a good week at school. Her anatomy test was easier than she thought,” I said.
“That’s good. Is she staying at school this weekend or is she coming home?”
Uh-oh, I thought. This is where things get dicey. “As far as I know, she’s staying at school,” I answered vaguely.
“What’s she doing out there? Is the school having any activities or games this weekend?” he persisted.
“I know there’s a football game on Saturday afternoon.”
“What about tonight? Does she have any plans?”
Sigh. Here we go. “Tonight she and her roommates are going to a party with the baseball team,” I muttered, hoping he’d miss most of it.
“Oh. Wait. What?”
“I said that she’s going to a party with her roommates.”
“No, you said that she was going to a party with the baseball team. She just transferred to that school three weeks ago! How in the world does she know the baseball team?” he huffed.
“Her roommates know some of the boys on the team and the girls were invited to a party,” I said, helpless to halt the downhill slide of our conversation.
“So let me get this straight. Our nineteen year old daughter is going to a party at a university that’s an hour from our home and she’s going with a baseball team. Is that about it?” He asked.
“Ah, that about sums it up,” I said.
“Why didn’t you say she couldn’t go?”
“Dave, she’s in college. We’ve been through this before. Once they go off to school, we have very little control. As it is, I’m just glad the kids tell us what they’re up to. They could lie, you know. I always check in with them a few times during the night. I’ve given them all the appropriate safety instructions. They never go anywhere alone. The girls are all very protective of each other and they look out for one another. Oh, and both of our girls have mace. I bought it for them to carry with them,” I said.
“Well, gee, that’s reassuring. At least Laura is back home with us and I don’t have to worry so much about her. What’s she doing tonight?”
“Um…she’s going out with her friends,” I said.
“Is she going to someone’s house to watch a movie or something?” he asked.
Another sigh. “No, she’s going to a bar to meet up with some people,” I answered.
“What?! Are you kidding me? Who’s driving? How is she getting there and how is she getting home? What in the world is going on?” he sputtered.
“She’s driving to a friend’s house and they’re going from there. One of the kids is a designated driver and if Laura doesn’t feel comfortable driving home later she’s going to stay at her friend’s house,” I said. “Look, I know this throws you, but this is what happens when your kids get to the ages our kids are. This is what they do.”
“Well I don’t like it. They should stay at home and play board games or something!”
“Oh, like we did when we were that age?” I asked. Silence. “Look, here’s my suggestion. For as long as we’ve had children, I’ve kept you updated on a ‘need to know’ basis. How about we stick with that plan? Keep your questions generic and I’ll fill in with selected details, eliminating anything remotely provocative. Okay?”
“All right,” Dave sighed. “Wait, I almost forgot. What’s David doing tonight?”
“Do you really want to know?” I asked.
“Come to think of it, I don’t,” he said.
Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.
Mary Fran Bontempo is the author of Everyday Adventures or As My Husband Says, “Lies, Lies and More Lies”.
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